There's a whole lotta people packing up their bags
And moving to Tennessee
They know everything about country
Hell they saw it on tv
Spend ten grand on a nudie suit
And a brand new pair of snake skin boots
But the most important thing
Done slipped their mind
Cause you gotta have a beard
If you wanna be a country singer
Well you gotta have a beard
And dress a lot like David Allen Coe
If you wanna sing I saw the light
Or help me make it through the night
If you wanna be a country singer
You gotta have a beard
Well Roger Miller and Ernest Tubb
Well they never went nowhere
Till they put down that razor
Started growing out their hair
Oh Johnny Cash never made a dime
Till he woke up and saw the sign
That a five o'clock shadow
Just ain't enough
Cause you gotta have a beard
If you wanna be a country singer
Well you gotta have a beard
And do drugs like David Allen Coe
If you wanna sing that ring of fire
Or learn how to play the wildwood flower
If you wanna be a country singer
You gotta have a beard
Son
If you're a honky tonk angel
You have got it made
Cause none of these rules apply to you
But for all us cowboys
Trying to make the grade
There's just no way to skirt around the truth
Cause you gotta have a beard
If you wanna be a country singer
Well you gotta have a beard
And hang out with David Allen Coe
If you wanna sing that Liza Jane
Or blue eyes crying in the rain
If you wanna be a country singer
You gotta have a beard
Everybody well you gotta have a beard
If you wanna be a country singer
Well you gotta have a beard
And do drugs like David Allen Coe
If you wanna sing I saw the light
Or help me make it through the night
If you wanna be a country singer
You gotta have a beard
Well if you wanna sing them drinking songs
You gotta look like you belong
If you wanna be a country singer
You gotta have a beard
