Smtms, Smtms Nt

Sometimes i can make it To the grocery store nearby and Stumbling, bleary eyed, wander Picking up a few things to restock And maybe i can hold a conversation once in a while Holding up cheap facades that mask everything going on But sometimes i can't Because sometimes i lock myself up In my room with the shades drawn and Hiding, trembling, i'm waiting For everything to fall apart already Let me rot in peace Sometimes i think that i can do The things everyone's expected to, like Talking, working, existing, but Everything is always too much for me Nothing's ever enough I'm always so tired of everything Overstimulating, overdoing Feeling everything Nothing's ever enough Everything is too much The past keeps sticking out in tufts of drying ink Sprouting out from what i'm writing So i bought some tape And keep trying to press it all down So the whole thing stays neat, and clean And doesn't show the world how bad it's getting But flowers grow through concrete And memories flow through my bloodstream Thin rivulets seeping into the text Until i'm drained, and everyone can see What's in me Sometimes i think that i can do The things everyone's expected to, like Talking, working, existing, but Everything is always too much for me Nothing's ever enough I'm always so tired of everything Overstimulating, overdoing Feeling everything Nothing's ever enough Everything is too hard And i don't wanna die alone but Everything's pointing into Directions i don't want to take But i find myself going anyways Trying to stay upbeat But is there really any other ending For me that doesn't conclude with Collapsing and imploding What's left of my mental frame Like a cheap lawn chair Never stood a chance Against my self-destructive tendencies Sledgehammer of self-hatred Crashing to the earth Like an obsolete satellite Dime a dozen, keep me posted For when someone more interesting shows up