Spontaneous Thoughts of Realization

Conflicted Wistfully drifting southward Decisions, my vision is missing, doubter I'm hearing deliriously dreary thoughts That are pulling me backwards Here we are right at the start I've not grown I've shown lack of self-control I had it but trapped when I was left alone Ignored it, toured a place I shouldn't go Floored it, towards the place I've always known I should've stopped these thoughts I got lots of them Lost in pity I shocked my own doctrine Locked him up to block my conscience And quashed what I fought for thoughtless of consequence I didn't need acceptance except when it came into question And thoughts of rejection Had made me feel less than Pressed for an answer I faltered My rhythm and rhyme, it was altered She broke up but I still continued to help her She loved me but left me 'cause he could just melt her But she didn't trust him with all of her problems And she was dependent on me to help solve them Searching for purpose, I helped her at first But I had my own issues, and my issues, she skipped through I went through depression not knowing what to do I lost my best friend but she's still in my life? Fast forward she doesn't need me anymore which Only led me to feeling unimportant Unneeded, depleted, without help I just dove deeper into damaging my health My well-being blown away with the wind The feeling of defeat was just now setting in And I realized my punishment from deep within I dropped all I had for a pitiful sin Back at the beginning, I finally just had to let her go That part of my life is over, I need an antidote I know where my remedy is, that's where I'm headed for I'm running back to Jesus, my wandering is over (I'm lost and I'm losing control) (I'm running with my hands tied) (Yeah I need Jesus) (Carry me, carry me, carry me) (I say I'm fine, but inside) (People try to pull you down) (My peace comes from, my peace comes from) (Take it all away) (No I can't escape it, but I'll be alright) (You can't drag me down) (I'm sorry for saying goodbye) It's over Jesus, I need healing I need loving I need something Lord Jesus, I need healing I need loving I need something Lord