Mollymauk Vs Caleb Rap Battle

Roll initiative! Ha! How do I want to do this? Roll up for this freakshow at the carnival commedia A booklover with more issues than an encyclopedia It's the devil who can't remember 'Gainst the man who can't forget My amnesia's anaesthesia, ooh, you stink of your regrets (ooh!) Throw raps from 60 feet away, you weedy wizard wussy Then go mindmeld with Frumpkin You're used to being a pussy Your body's got the hit dice of a biscuit dunked in tea CritRoleStats says you go down more than the Ruby of the Sea I'm flamboyantly fabulous, universally adored If I could cast find familiar, I'd just summon Gilmore (glorious!) No foe I can't surmount, this carnal carnie can't keep count I make the continent quake, ooh, I'm such a Wildemount I'm altruistic, hedonistic (uh, uh) Love to get in trouble quick I'm a moral golden compass, you're just a subtle prick You're restrained and I'm loud You're ashamed and I'm proud You're so washed up, yet you smell of stinking cloud Ja, okay Oh, it's my turn, wunderbar! The devil's been defanged with a DC of elf (11) I barely felt that mockery, guess he only hurts himself (burn!) Transmute that dung to silvertongue Here's a whetstone for your wit Even comprehend language can't decode your bullshit (scheiße!) You're far from prince charming, more like a royal pain (boo!) A clown with a crown of madness Long may he reign No net under your high wire If you fight me, light your own pyre I roll wisdom saves after every line 'Cause my lyrics are so fire You're in my cat's paw, little peacock And you'll never be free If you were as clever as you thought you were You'd be, uh, me My cortex is colossal, it gives mind flayers indigestion (stay cool) I'm a pissed fritz army knife with answers to every question A brain with an arcane cannon Cranking up my think tank 'Bout you take a donation From this Blood Hunter blood bank You got spanked (danke schön) My glove of blasting starts to itch I have a sorcerer's apprentice You can be my bitch I don't need to maledict I just blind you with rage (ugh) Did Jester write your story? You're a dick on every page You're a fiend, Caleb So let me switch to devil's tongue Suck my devil dick That means I won Uh, you dress like you've been faerie-fired From dusk 'til dawn Try and hide, you'd need a pride parade for leprechauns (potato) Shine bright, you narcissist, wearing your dragon carpet (lock on) I fire attention-seeking missiles and you're always the target Here's morals from the devil You're so poor in humanity Which is more broke? Your coin purse or your sanity? Your own mind is your dungeon Karma's the final boss Cast alarm around your conscience, it'd never go off No scroll that you stole Can help you hold or control fate You sold your dirty soul More controversial than Bowlgate Don't burn your tiefling brother, I rebuke in an instant If your family were tieflings, they'd have been fire resistant Ooh, your life is in the cards Mollymauk, don't tempt me Let me read your future Oh, it just says empty (ow!) You always want to one-up Your last show was your best Fjord swallows swords So you take a glaive through the chest Your grave wants you back There'll be no hope of detection And I'm saving counterspell for your next resurrection Now, do me a favour and expose that purple back This whole verse set you up for a sneak attack Oh, God Mama's home, kids I'll turn you shits into knitting Ask the manticore how good I am at babysitting You're first, ram horns I'm gonna mince you like mutton Then I'll have to steal myself 'Cause I'm cute as a button I'm Nott drunk! (Hic) I rouge best when I'm slammed How will you hit me when I don't know where I am? Droping bombs like Cricks Leavin' Molly in the wreckage If you're still alive, you can reply to this Oh, I failed my con save Ja, okay, we're done here Uh, good game, Molly! No, I can take all three of him! Ja, time for a short rest, ja I roll to investigate his arsehole! I don't know what that means