Finding Myself

I’ve made a lot of mistakes (I’m trying to find my way)

I’ve made a lot of mistakes (I want the pain to go away)

I’ve made a lot of mistakes (I’m trying to find my way)

I’ve made a lot of mistakes (I want the pain to go away)

I’m spiraling out of control, and now I want to end it all

I’m spiraling out of control, and now I want to end it all

I’ve been, used and abused. Ridiculed for my views./ Too many battles to fight at once so I pick and choose./ Nothing new, I’ve been in this situation before./ A lack of motivation and lack of hunger for more./ Depression is an illness and there is really no cure./ I want to go back to a time when my heart was pure./ My soul is now contaminated and tainted with hatred./ My life is complicated, I’m feeling a little jaded./ I stare at these four walls, It’s like they’re closing in./ It’s like I’m claustrophobic, I think I’m nearing the end./ I’m trying my best to pretend that everything is perfect./ Behind that winning smile is a loser that’s feeling worthless./ I know I don’t deserve it, so why am I now the victim?/ I have no one to blame so I blame it all on the system./ Constructive criticism is different from verbal abuse./ And the truth is I am labeled unstable and a recluse.

Through the ups and downs, the smiles and frowns, no one can bring me down

But myself. I’m trying to find myself.

And through the joy, the pain. The sun, the rain. The only one to blame

Is myself. I’m trying to find myself.

(As I’m defeating the demon within)

I hear so many people say, “you need to get up. Get out. And do more.”/ But what for? When all these women are occasional whores./ I had a family and I lost it because of stupid decisions./ And a woman whose only vision was to bring evil intentions./ The mission is still the same. I refuse to play your game./ You should be ashamed of the way you tried to throw dirt on my name./ Like you really live your life divine and holy./ The real reason why you left is cause you couldn’t control me./ And for those of you who know me know that I’m speaking the facts./ And the fact is that you ran from the truth. Should’ve expected that./ Some people like forgive, but I don’t have no mercy./ For anyone who goes out of their way to try to hurt me./ I’ve seen the power of persuasion in a woman’s flesh./ It’s almost like they’ve got some kryptonite tucked in a dress./ But nevertheless I have no regrets./ I refuse to settle for less and only the best, I stay blessed.

Through the ups and downs, the smiles and frowns, no one can bring me down

But myself. I’m trying to find myself.

And through the joy, the pain. The sun, the rain. The only one to blame

Is myself. I’m trying to find myself.

(As I’m defeating the demon within)

I’ve made a lot of mistakes (I’m trying to find my way)

I’ve made a lot of mistakes (I want the pain to go away)

I’ve made a lot of mistakes (I’m trying to find my way)

I’ve made a lot of mistakes (I want the pain to go away)

I’m spiraling out of control, and now I want to end it all

I’m spiraling out of control, and now I want to end it all

In my mind I’m just screaming out for help and nobody will listen./ Feeling like I’m trapped in a bad dream. It’s like I’m in prison./ And my ambition is simple. I want to be a better man./ But my vision is cloudy, and it’s interrupting my plans./ Understand it’s not as easy as I make it out to be./ What you never get to see is all the pain inside of me./ To the public I’m perceived to be the poster boy of confidence./ But in private I can’t hide the obvious incompetence./ In spite of my accomplishments I feel like a failure./ And I tell ya the more I pray for peace, the more it gets scarier./ Inferior in the mind and superior in the heart./ Where do I start picking up pieces that have torn me apart./ My work of art has been my music and it’s given me faith./ To walk the straight and narrow and eliminate all the hate./ So now I sit and wait, anticipating my fate./ Open the gates so I can enter this place, and try to find myself....