Threw It On the Ground

I was walking through the city streets

And a man walks up to me and hands me the latest energy drink

Run faster, jump higher

Man, I'm not gonna let you poison me

I threw it on the ground

You must think I'm a joke

I ain't gonna be part of your system

Man, pump that garbage in another man's face

I go to my favorite hot dog stand

And the dude says, you come here all the time, here's one for free

I said, man, what I look like, a charity case?

I took it and threw it on the ground

I don't need your handouts

I'm an adult

Please, you can't buy me, hot dog man

At the farmer's market with my so-called girlfriend

She hands me her cell phone, says, it's my dad

Man, this ain't my dad

This is a cell phone

I threw it on the ground

What, you think I'm stupid?

I'm not a part of your system

My dad's not a phone

Duh

Some poser hands me a cake at a birthday party

What you want me to do with this, eat it?

Happy birthday to the ground

I threw the rest of the cake, too

Welcome to the real world, jackass

So many things to throw on the ground

Like this, and this, and that, and even this

I'm an adult

Two Hollywood phonies try to give me their autograph

Ground

Nobody wants your autograph

Phonies

Then the two phonies got up

Turned out they had a taser

And they tased me in the butt hole

I fell to the ground

The phonies didn't let up

Tasing on my butthole over and over

I was screaming and squirming

My butthole was on fire

The moral of the story is

You can't trust the system

Man