Hip Hop Quotables

Hi, my name's Ludacris, and I'm high as giraffe busta

And I'm close to the edge, so yo' parents can come push me

I curse so much just to get on they nerves

I got kids actin' a fool from the traps to the 'burbs

My filthy mouth, it won't fight cavities or beat plaque

So I shot the tooth fairy and took my old teeth back

I'll take a shit on the equator, the size of a crater

And make government officials breathe harder than Darth Vader

It's the chicken and the beer that makes Luda keep rappin'

But no pork on my fork, I don't even speak pig latin

I go fishin' on my lake, with yo' bitch as the bait

Plus I eat many MCs, but I don't gain no weight

The number one chief rocker, clean out yo' rap lockers

I'm as stiff as a board, y'all more shook than maracas

But my tricks ain't for kids, if you dig 'em you'll get smacked

I'll clock ya, I'll spring forward you fall back

Every album that I drop has got more than ten bangers

That's 'cause I'm a shot caller, y'all fools is Crank Yankers

Ain't a damn thing changed but the ice on my chain

To get chicks from Portland, Oregon to Portland, Maine

Now I roll up torpedoes, get blunted with Rastas

For a hefty fee, I'm on your record like Bob Costas

I own so many jerseys, I'm a throwback mess

I hit the cleaners and tell 'em I'm a full court press

So mama, toast a glass, while I'm countin' my cash

'Cause every single is a smash, I'm hot as a camel's ass

Competition never just want to admit that they lost

And that they last about as long as my part in the wash

From yo' car to a crap game, no one rolls wit' you

One of Mini-Me's shoes got more soul than you

So by the time you figure out why your record ain't spinnin'

I'm in the strip club smokin' with President Clinton

So stand clear of the long sideburns and goatee

They made the mold of the penis enlarger off me

I'll be in another room when I hit it from the back

Not to mention my refrigerator's taller than Shaq

So yippie kay yay, yippie yie yie yo

If you can't swim, don't smoke my hydro

I've been looking for a woman, just to put my stamp on

But a lot of y'all are mo' stuck up than tampons

So wash all ya sins away and stop playin'

If God's line is busy, you might have to two-way him

Then catch me in your backyard, playin' croquet

And when I'm drunk tell them kids, drugs are bad, mmm'kay

Or watch me swing my chain at the Roscoe's off Pico

Got seven cars, get all my rims at Chrome Depot

And people think I'm bad, they say, ooh, he's so evil

'Cause I go on blind dates with actual blind people

But my album's out the store, yours be on the shelf

I heard you masturbate a lot, so y'all keep to yourself

'Cause these women want a man that stay up and stay strong

Like the NBA, you gotta play hard or go home

All that shit that y'all talkin', y'all can pop it to them

'Cause Ludacris will beat you down with a prosthetic limb

I'll put my foot so deep in yo' ass that you can smell it

And yo' breath will turn to Foot Locker water repellent

I'm the man, I got money far as the eyes can see

And I'm in a group, I split dough with me, me, and me

So much money in my jewelry, that I'm damn near sorry

So I'ma trade my earrings in, and get a Ferarri

I buy cars with straight cash, have meetings with Donald Trump

Y'all meet with Honda, no payments for twelve months

Take a look at your life, and no wonder you so sad

Y'all put up with more shit than a colostomy bag, fool