War Is a Science

War is a science

Which a general must use

With stratagems and strategies

Statistical analyses

To know how many soldiers

He's prepared to lose

Now, gentlemen

This is the plan for tomorrow's skirmish

The army of the enemy is stationed on the hill

So we've got to draw them down here

Where they're easier to kill

So you in the ravine, that's the area in green

Will move across the plain

Where you plainly can be seen

Then the enemy, in blue, will undoubtedly pursue

And we'll hope to keep your losses

To comparatively few

And then

(And then)

And gentlemen, and then

And then the men go marchin' out into the fray

Conquering the enemy and carryin' the day

Hark, the blood is poundin' in our ears

Jubilations, we can hear a grateful nation's cheers

Pippin, sit down immediately

Now, where was I?

Ah, yes

A general accepts that war is hell or even worse

He must never be too cautious or casualty averse

I'm certain a majority of blood that you will splatter

Will be fair to just a minimum of damage that's collateral

But when up for success he must also pay a price

That, swear by my success, you must sacrifice

And then

(And then)

And gentlemen and then

And then the men go marchin' out into the fray

Conquerin' the enemy

Pippin

Sorry, Father

Well, now, time is short

I'll have to speed the whole damn thing up

Listen to me, men, as I endeavor to explain

What separates a charlatan from a Charlemagne

A rule known to generals illustrious and various

Though pompous as a Pompey or daring as a Darius

A little rule that every leader knows by heart

It's smarter to be lucky than it's lucky to be smart

And then

(And then)

And gentlemen, and then

Now, Pippin

Now

And then the men go marchin' out into the fray

Conquering the enemy and carryin' the day

Hark, the blood is poundin' in our ears

Jubilations, we can hear a grateful nation's

Cheers