Alan's First Night Out

Another Friday night and I'm fuckin' wasted

Just a few more beers and I may not make it

Back home tonight

Can I crash at your place?

Well tell me honey, do you mind?

Oh whoopty doo

Yeah this so much fun and where the hell are you?

I can't speak a lot, I think smell like puke

And I never wanna be content again

And I'm fuckin' wasted

Is this what you wanted?

And I'm not even buzzed I need another one down

Then I'm good as I was- I mean as good as I am?

I'm as good as I'll ever be

And I'm fuckin' wasted

Is this what you wanted?

I look like shit while Sam is passed out on the floor

Was gonna quit until you walked in through the door

To my surprise you looked kinda high

I coulda sworn you said you were straightedge

And didn't fuck with just any guys

So now I'll approach you (I couldn't drive)

It's plain to see I didn't have a clue (We should've died that night)

On what to say to you

(Not headed home) I hope I don't get a DUI

(Not headed home) A 300 dollar fine

(Not headed home) Thank God I got that DUI

(Not headed home) That night we could've died