Tango: Maureen

The samples won't delay

But the cable—

There's another way

Say something, anything

Test, one, two, three

Anything but that

This is weird

It's weird

Very weird

Fucking weird

I'm so mad that I don't know what to do

Fighting with microphones

Freezing down to my bones

And to top it all off, I'm with you

Feel like going insane

Got a fire in your brain

And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?

As a matter of fact—

Honey, I know this act

It's called the Tango Maureen

The Tango Maureen

It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round

As she keeps you dangling (You're wrong)

Your heart, she is mangling (It's different with me)

And you toss and you turn

'Cause her cold eyes can burn

Yet you yearn, and you churn and rebound

I think I know what you mean

The Tango Maureen

Has she ever pouted her lips and called you "Pookie?"

Never

Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?

This is spooky

Did you swoon when she walked through the door?

Every time, so be cautious

Did she moon over other boys?

More than moon

I'm getting nauseous

Where'd you learn to tango?

With the French ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at Miss Porter's

And you?

With Nanette Himmelfarb, the rabbi's daughter at the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center

It's hard to do this backwards

You should try it in heels

She cheated

She cheated

Maureen cheated

Fucking cheated

I'm defeated, I should give up right now

Gotta look on the bright side

With all of your might

I'd fall for her still anyhow

When you're dancing her dance, you don't stand a chance

Her grip of romance makes you fall

So you think, "Might as well dance a tango to hell

At least I'll have tangoed at all"

The Tango Maureen, gotta dance till your diva is through

You pretend to believe her

'Cause in the end, you can't leave her

But the end, it will come

Still, you have to play dumb

Till you're glum and you bum and turn blue

Why do we love when she's mean?

And she can be so obscene

My Maureen

The Tango Maureen