Credits
AUSFÜHRENDE KÜNSTLER:INNEN
Dirty Dike
Künstler:in
KOMPOSITION UND LIEDTEXT
Peter Buchanan
Komponist:in
James Walton
Songwriter:in
Steven Dixon
Songwriter:in
Ben Hughes
Songwriter:in
Josh Davey
Songwriter:in
Matt Jones
Songwriter:in
Thomas Conning
Songwriter:in
Jacob Lloyd
Songwriter:in
Thomas Hawkins
Songwriter:in
Luke Freedman
Songwriter:in
Alexander Whitehead
Songwriter:in
James Leigh
Songwriter:in
Songteksten
[Verse 1]
Yeah, ah, it's all, it's all distorted
And it's awkward, I stab an orphan with an orchid
And pork sword it, then I feed it to a swordfish
Awesome shit, shavin' a pasty
I'm rapin' David Blaine with an ashtray
He's like, "Please stop it"
He's Wallace, and she's Gromit
Bangin' on the moon, strangle a baboon
Kick him in the fanny, then I bang it with a broom
I'm lesbian prison
Dyin' on my own, cryin' at the throne
Violent with the bone
Pull the bone off and snap it in half
I'm just havin' a laugh
[Verse 2]
Are we ready?
Are we ready?
I'm just havin' a laugh
Are we ready?
I'm just havin' a laugh
[Verse 3]
These years are gold years, I won't ever be rich
Fuck her life, I'ma live mine, whatever it is
I'll get in the whip and drive like a hedonist prick
Forgettin' I'm pissed and high, not to mention the sniff
I never question what I got in my brain
I'm not afraid, I'm the most honest nov' in the game
With a gob like a drain, I'm obnoxious and lazy
And still gettin' props in a cotch full of ladies, baby
[Verse 4]
And I ain't gonna play unless you pay me
And make me a shake, bacon or baked beans
Never catchin' feelin's, actin' weak and all emotional
I simply catch a beat when I'm erratic and I vocal all
Sociable, overly so, fuck passive
I chat shit load's and you know my tongue's magic
My drug habit and clothes are both free
Till I come home blaggin' this homeless bloke's jeans
[Verse 5]
Hi, my name's Steven (What?)
Would you like a little bit of company this evenin'?
You can bring the wine, I'll get the cheese, and (Lovely)
Naw, fuck that, let's get absolutely steamin'
Tell the bouncer I'ma bring a gram of weed in
Backstage at a rave with the grave, chiefin'
Bag a bag of beef till I start to lose the feelin' in my face
Smash the place till we're hangin' from the ceilin'
[Verse 6]
Team Hate, SMB, that's the link up
Truck a load, but the whole party stink up
There's a prize at the bottom, love, drink up
Fuck the respect, I want the money and my dick sucked
Hawaiian shirt on my back (Splash)
Cool Runnings, rockin' that John Candy swag
In fact what you is wants penis
So I tell her she's better on top like my team is
[Verse 7]
Who's that dashing young exec making power moves in the board room
Who told his secretary to never put your calls through?
Not me, but picture that level of ignorance, and triple it
And I will still be more rude, fuck your crew
I'm like Jaws, you're more like Jaws 2
Same sorta thing, not as good, poor you
I'm like Bishop, but with more juice
Unzip my flies, then I put them in your soup (Word play)
[Verse 8]
Word to my potential unborn kids
Rappers forfeit and turn yellow like jaundice
Don't like my shit? Well, horses for courses
But my guess is you're the sorta prick who thinks ballin' would be scorin'
With a Geordie Shore chick
During a Majorca trip, you probably saw her in The Sport
That cost forty quid
My name is Dr. Syntax, I'm on some awesome shit
But you already knew that, didn't you? Of course you did
[Verse 9]
It's pannin' out, and I ain't found no gold yet
Find me where the surface is wet, but there's no mold yet
I'm all in, and rappers start to fold bets, the stage before an old vet
Puttin' holes in circles where the soul left
Blew clefts through smoke rings to test my aim
Don't play notes, just B flat linin' them again
Keep what I C sharp 'cause this world can get insane
Fuck lies, fuck blame, fuck pride, fuck shame
[Verse 10]
I'm a simple creature, gimme a dame and a big sack of reefer
And I'll smile like my dick's makin' her mouth deeper
A west of Sav' speaker
Spring a leak in a steady flow to zone on another bangin' Dike feature
Shit, I might teach ya, might not
Might make you spack out and kick a hole in your right speaker
Tryna make this music ugly, but beautiful
So kids go, "Ugh," but not, "The heck," 'cause it's musical
[Verse 11]
So if you hate my guts, you can choke on my balls
And I'll take a picture of it just to post on my wall
I ain't blaggin' you up, trust me, I'm an arrogant cunt
A savage, a drunk fuck, and apparently scum
Just because I get my kick out of embarrassing chumps
And taggin' their drums, yeah, I'm a vandal for fun
Smokin' fags just to damage my lungs
Screamin', "Life's too short" while I'm neckin' neat brandy and rum
I do music for a livin', I ain't gettin' a job
Who the fuck's gonna employ a stole veteran slob
That turns up to his midday shift at seven o'clock
And pisses in the boss's office while he's tellin' him off?
So you can catch me lookin' smashed with a spliff and a beer
Feedin' a fat heifer chicken while I'm lickin' her ear
It's five A.M., and my mission is clear
I need to bust a fuckin' nut, and there ain't no other women in here
[Verse 12]
Ay, yo, man, I hold weight and control these fakes
Eatin' a chocolate cake, sippin' a protein shake
Fat face flows, and the track plays through
All these fake little rats in the trap they chose
V to fuckin' E to the fuckin' R to the B
The initial is T, I'm fuckin' large
That's right, we rock homeless fashion
Might spit into the crowd, show no compassion
Fools imaginations are overactive
Oh, you're actin', I'll burn you and mold the plastic
To a new shape, two face, fuck the fake hype
A new aim to shame, struck with snake bite
Venom in the veins, sendin' them insane (Yeah)
Rushin' through the blood, intended for the blame
So you'd do well to remember these damn names
It's the new faces of the derelict campaign
[Verse 13]
Screamin' in the face of every screen and peen receiver
Was the Baxter starkers in the field of steamin' ether
Yeah, you see him, crack hands, mahoosive on slappin' spree
Slug a slug backward Travel Tavern balcony
So how could she watch her personality evaporate?
Curdle in the corner and contaminate a Tanqueray
With tears, tears, bittersweet tears
While we're fuckin' up the jam with a spliff in each ear
[Verse 14]
This year, shit's gettin' fuckin' fucked up
Round two, acid prawn, summer uncut
See the top self smut barren plummet untouched
From the sky, settle safely in the blood and guts, bruv
Well done, recruitin' for my rebel terror cell
Sellin' second-hand remains from the day heaven fell
But congealed in the kitchen of every desert hell
Is a moldy-eyed chief in a cracked metal shell, let's move
[Verse 15]
These are the words that my brain is tellin' me to stick down
On a shitty, crumbled, ugly fuckin' piece of paper
I was thinkin', "What the fuck's he goin' on about?"
But it just told me to shut the fuck up and ignite the flavor
So I listened to the feeble, flappin' muscle in my skull
And put the pen back to the sheet until the ink would fit
To be honest, everything I've ever written in my life has been abysmal
(Why?) 'Cause I'm a stupid heap of shit
[Verse 16]
I'm such a dick, the most selfish twat you'll ever meet
Trust me, ask any person that I've ever known
In my entire life, and they'll confirm that Edward Scissortongue
Is hands down, the biggest fuckin' cunt inside the country
Plus, I'm fuckin' stingy, I top load my zoots
And I won't drive you home from the village to the city
I swear to God that if you look at me again
I'll shit my pants and start flingin' flamin' lumps like Frisbees
[Verse 17]
Oi, toss pot, do you watch what's top of the pops?
Nah, I cotch with Dot Cotton, hot boxin' the dots
And what? I'm not bothered if apocalypse drops
I'll be fox trottin' bullets with a bottle of scotch
(With God's comet?) Stop waffling 'cause probably not
Shop coffers, stop shottas, got us watchin' the clock
Scotch bonnet, hot molotov, off of the top
To polyphonic pop sonics, rock proper or what?
[Verse 18]
I'm on a mission, there isn't shit to do but spittin' writtens
I'm tryna bring a difference to the kids in bitter Britain
If you ain't got the time to take to listen to the wisdom
Then I ain't got the time to waste to kill the cynicism
I never had the time of day for givin' it the big un'
When I spit, I spit it sick for the spirits of inhibition
It's the Mr. Kizzakizzum with the dirty double D cup
A pair of massive tits keep smugglin' your peanuts
[Verse 19]
It's big Flips the dangler, microphone damager
Goin' through the green like a mothafuckin' Rambler
Head's spinnin', metaphorical jazz
Still steppin' on the road, rockin' nothin' but old rags
Tees I've had for years, and my jeans that are so sag
Got particles of dust in the wallet, but no cash
All the dough I had, I done spend it on chro' bags
Mixed it up with pizz until memories fade to black, it's
[Verse 20]
Pointless to repent when there's no way to go back
Like fetus in a jar after a car crash
Disaster's a par fact, I'm pavin' them bars of hash
While you're screwin' at your zoogie, complainin' of hard ash
You're a rookie, I'm a lad, look a me, I pay in cash
'Cause I'm fillin' out the venue, the fans are just fuckin' fab
I'ma smash that like glass, on the concrete when it be dash
Real rapper bring it back, call it zoogie man slide
[Verse 21]
You can guarantee the Leaf is high
So man clouds in my room, it's like my house is above the sky
No lie, that's my life, never lost a love
Son, I put it on to beat like a boxer's glove
Workin' the sub like I'm in the Navy
You know the claps comin' like when the crowd's goin' crazy
Son of Lee, son of Davey
Bring a summary like there's war comin' lately
That's how these cunts made me
[Verse 22]
I don't feel that hip hop's represented
The music for the poor sent where the rich sent it
They're a joke, and never been a lyricist
The closest thing to seein' pussy was the mirror images
Don't take the risk 'cause you ain't half as nice
And will remain unknown like the secrets of the afterlife
In a world, tryna search for the answer
A riddle through your mind just like a brain cancer
Written by: Alexander Whitehead, Ben Hughes, Jacob Lloyd, James Leigh, James Walton, Josh Davey, Luke Freedman, Matt Jones, Peter Buchanan, Steven Dixon, Thomas Conning, Thomas Hawkins
