Cell Block Tango

And now, the six merry murderesses of the Cook County Jail

In their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango"

Pop!

Six!

Squish!

Uh-uh!

Cicero!

Lipschitz!

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz!

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz!

He had it comin'

He had it comin'

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same

Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz!

You know how people have these little habits that getcha down?

Like Bernie

Bernie liked to chew gum, no, not chew, pop!

Well, I come home this one day and there's Bernie layin' on the couch chewin'

No, not chewin', poppin'!

So I said to him, I said, "Bernie, you pop that gun one more time"

And he did

So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots into his head

He had it comin'

He had it comin'

He only had himself to blame

I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago

And he told me he was single and we, uh, hit it off right away

So we started living together

He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd mix him a drink, we'd have dinner

Then I found out single, my ass!

Not only was he married, well, he had six wives!

One of them Mormons, you know?

So that night when he came home, I mixed him his drink as usual

You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic

He had it comin' (Pop! Six!)

He had it comin' (Uh-huh! Cicero, Lipschitz!)

He took a flower in its prime (Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-huh! Cicero, Lipschitz!)

And then he used it (Pop!)

And he abused it (Six!)

It was a murder, (Squish!) but not a crime (Uh-huh! Cicero, Lipschitz!)

Now, I'm standin' in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner

And in storms my husband, Wilbur, in a jealous rage

"You've been screwin' the milkman," he said, and he kept sayin'

"You've been screwin' the milkman!"

Then he ran into my knife, he ran into my knife ten times!

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same

Mit keresek, йn itt?

Azt mondják, a híres lakóm lefogta a férjem, én meg lecsaptam a fejét

De nem igaz. Én ártatlan vagyok

Nem tudom, miért mondja Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem

Próbáltam a rendőrségen megmagyarázni, de nem értették meg

But did you do it?

Uh-uh, not guilty

My sister, Veronica, and I did this double act and my husband, Charlie, traveled around with us

For the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row

One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread-eagles, flip-flops, backflips one right after the other

Well, this one night we were in Cicero, the three of us, and we were in this hotel room

Boozin' and havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice, so I went to get some

I come back, open the door there's Veronica and Charlie doin' number 17, the spread-eagle

Well, I was in such a state of shock I completely blacked out; I can't remember a thing

It wasn't until later when I was washin' the blood off my hands I even knew they were dead

They had it comin' (they had it comin')

They had it comin' (they had it comin')

They had it comin' all along (they took a flower in its prime)

I didn't do it (and then they used it)

But if I done it (and they abused it)

How could you tell me that I was wrong? (It was a murder, but not a crime)

I loved Alvin Lipschitz

He was a real artistic guy, sensitive a painter

But he was always trying to find himself

He'd go out every night looking for himself

And on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary, and Irving

I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences

He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

They had it comin' (they had it comin')

They had it comin' (they had it comin')

They had it comin' all along (they had it comin' all along)

'Cause if they used us ('cause if they used us)

And they abused us (and they abused us)

How could you tell us that we were wrong?

He had it comin' (he had it comin')

He had it comin' (he had it comin')

He only had himself to blame (he only had himself to blame)

If you'd have been there (if you'd have been there)

If you'd have seen it (if you'd have seen it)

I betcha you would have done the same

You pop that gum one more time!

Single, my ass!

Ten times!

Miért csukott Uncle Sam börtönbe!

Number 17, the spread-eagle!

Artistic differences!

I betcha you would have done the same