Stayed Gone

That fucker is back

Yeah, I thought he was gone for good too

It's been seven years

You still pissed he almost beat you that time?

Uh, fuck you

Just saying

Things have changed a lot since he left town

That's for sure

I gotta send a message of who's really in charge of things now

Welcome home

I'm gonna make you wish that you'd stayed gone

Say hello to a new status quo

Everyone knows that there's a brand new dawn

Turn the TV on

Camera speeds

Rolling in three, two

Welcome to the show

Top of the hour, and we're discussing a certain has-been

Who has been spotted cavorting around town after a seven-year absence

Welcome to the show

Did anybody miss him?

Welcome to the show

Did anybody notice? More on tonight's program

So, the Radio Demon is back in town

Why is he hanging around?

What does that mean for your family?

Well handily, I've got good news

He's a loser, a fossil

And I don't mean to sound hostile, but the demon is a coward

You can take that as gospel

Pulling my viewers? Impossible

I'm visual, he's barely audible

Stop giving him the time of day, don't listen to a word he'd say

I hope he had a nice vacay, but he should've stayed away

While he hid in radio, we've pivoted to video

Now his medium is getting bloody rare

Hell's been better since he split

Where's he been? Who gives a shit?

Salutations! Good to be back on the air

Yes, I know it's been a while

Since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast

Sinners, rejoice!

What a dated voice!

Instead of a clout-chasing mediocre video podcast

Come on!

Is Vox insecure, pursuing allure?

Flitting between this fad and that, is nothing working?

Ignore his chirping!

Every day, he's got a new format

You're looking at the future, he's the shit that comes before that

Is Vox as strong as he purports?

Or is it based on his support?

He'd be powerless without the other Vees

Oh, please!

And here's the sugar on the cream

He asked me to join his team

Hold on!

I said no, and now he's pissy

That's the tea!

You old-timey prick, I'll show you suffering

Uh oh, the TV is buffering

I'll destroy you, you little—

I'm afraid you've lost your signal

Let's begin

I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone, tune on in

When I'm done, your status quo will know its race is run

Oh, this will be fun

Fuck!