Numbers

It's not what I thought it would feel like

The praise that's seeping in

It goes as quick as it comes

Like it's carried by some strong wind

And I know what it seems like

That I'm thinking on leaving again

Well, maybe I'm just a little shallow

And if it's true that still waters run deep

Well, then I've been swiftly moving

Can the others see right through me?

My masquerades and my illusions

That I crafted so carefully

Well, I'm just a broken illusion

I'm not as tough as I oughta be

Well, the flowers my mama bought me

They only keep for two weeks

And then they just become another reminder

That he's never gonna write to me

And I spoke my fears to my mother

She said, "Honey, just let it be"

And then she sent some pretty flowers

With the hopes that my hurtin' they would ease

Well, you would think that I should feel happy

But the truth is I feel spent

And the numbers they've been climbing

Just not enough to pay my rent

I didn't used to think much of the numbers

But now they're always racing through my head

And I guess that I grew a little shallow

When I forsook the words that my mama once said

And now my thoughts are slow and twisted

And I can't seem to break them down

Which leaves my words false in meaning

I feel sad when I speak out loud

I thought I was to be a better lover

When I got out of that town

But I'm still no good in lovin'

And lovin' only leaves me losin' anyhow

Yes, I'm still no good in lovin'

And lovin' only leaves me losin' anyhow