If I Was The Priest

There's a light on yonder mountain

And it's callin' me to shine

There's a girl over by the water fountain

And she's askin' to be mine

And Jesus is standing in the doorway

In a buckskin jacket, boots and spurs so fine

Says, "We need you, son, tonight up in Dodge City

'Cause there's just too many outlaws tryin' to work the same line"

Now if Jesus was a sheriff and I were a priest

If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief

If Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line

There's still too many bad boys tryin' to work the same line

Well, sweet Virgin Mary runs the Holy Grail Saloon

Well, for a nickel she'll give you whiskey

And a personally blessed balloon

And the Holy Ghost is the host with the most

And he runs the burlesque show

Where they let you in for free and they hit you when you go

Mary serving Mass on Sunday and she sells her body on Monday

To the bootlegger who paid the highest price

He don't know he got stuck with a loser, she's stone junkie

What's more, she's a user, she's only been made once or twice

By some kind of magic

If Jesus was a sheriff and I was a priest

If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief

If Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line

There's still too many outlaws tryin' to work the same line

Well, things ain't been the same in Heaven

Since big bad Bobby came to town

He's been known to down eleven, then ask for another round

Me, I got scabs on my knees from kneeling way too long

It's about time I played the man, took a stand where I belong

Yeah, forget about the old friends and the old times

There's just too many new boys tryin' to work the same line

Well, if Jesus was a sheriff and I were a priest

If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief

If Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line

There's just too many outlaws tryin' to work the same line

Well, there's a light on yonder mountain

And it's callin' me to shine

There's a girl over by the water fountain

She's asking to be mine

Jesus is standin' in the doorway

Six guns drawn and ready to fan

Said "We need you tonight, son, up in Dodge City"

Told him I was already overdue for Cheyenne

If Jesus was a sheriff and I were a priest

If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief

If Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line

There's still too many bad boys tryin' to work the same

If Jesus was a sheriff and I were a priest

If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief

If Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line

There's still too many bad boys tryin' to work the same

If Jesus was a sheriff and I were a priest