Proud Of Me

I know you proud of me, look at all the shit I prevailed The youngest of your seeds, making sure the family eat well I give 'em what they need, I vow we always be well I told brodie change his ways, I'm praying he don't see jail To live another day, I'm praying I won't see Hell Ain't no telling what I'd do for my family, just know I mean well No, you ain't next to me, no, you ain't next to me But I'm hoping you can see, I'm praying you can see A million-dollar curses turn to million-dollar dreams A million dollars on me, but girl, it ain't what it seems I'm having nightmares I'm having nightmares of my brother clutching on me Can't see the snakes up in the grass, so will you show me? "You can't trust, these niggas ain't your friends," what you told me Young man, just stay up out the streets, it could get lonely "You can do whatever you wanna dream of," what you told me I ain't understand your words back then, but that's the old me Now look at me now I'm walking on the stage, they waiting for me like 23 thou' Too many voices in my head, just know I'm hearing you loud I'm walking 'round, smile on my face, just know I'm hurting inside Oh yeah, I'm hurting inside So I buy diamonds on diamonds on diamonds galore Chain after chain after chain, what's the worth? But it seemed to be the only thing that made me happy I lost my soul when I lost my daddy I know, I know I know you proud of me, look at all the shit I prevailed The youngest of your seeds, making sure the family eat well I give 'em what they need, I vow we always be well I told brodie change his ways, I'm praying he don't see jail To live another day, I'm praying I won't see Hell Ain't no telling what I'd do for my family, just know I mean well No, you ain't next to me (me), no, you ain't next to me (me) But I'm hoping you can see, I'm praying you can see Hundred-dollar nightmares turn to million-dollar dreams Riding past the block where my dad got left on the scene (brrt) Look at your little boy now, we done turned to kings Shit turned me a grown man 'fore I was 17 Had to go and play my own hand, I did this for Nasheema and the whole fam I got everything, but I just really wanna hold hands With my old man on wedding day while we slow dance But ain't no love, shot him in his heart, ain't have no chance So I can't sleep, insomniac, bullet holes out the Pontiac Swear to God, I'd trade in all these riches to get Robbie back Swear to God, I'd trade in all these foreigns to get Terry back I'm hanging out with my daddy, lost life and I'm aware of that You had told me how to fight And when you got shot, I thought about that shit every night Ain't got a Glock, I was hot, but I ain't stop I just bought your mama a spot and winning out She was living PHA, now can't nobody kick us out Scared to show up to your grave 'cause I might try to dig it out Like you know I did this shit for you Never heard you say it back, still be like "I miss you too" And when I catch the nigga that did this to you, he getting sent to you Skipping school, Daddy dead, fuck the principal She think I'm missing screws, when really, I'm just missing you My homie dad gon' pick us up, I want you to give me two I was kinda mad I ain't had one, it used to hit me too Nipsey blue Cullinan, I'm in a Ghost, I think of you Think of bro, I think of Snupe, I think 'bout B, it make me, ooh (shit) Money rule the world, but you can't pay God with it I'd spend it all just to get back my nigga I know you proud of me, look at all the shit I prevailed The youngest of your seeds, making sure the family eat well I give 'em what they need, I vow we always be well I told brodie change his ways, I'm praying he don't see jail To live another day, I'm praying I won't see Hell Ain't no telling what I'd do for my family, just know I mean well No, you ain't next to me, no, you ain't next to me But I'm hoping you can see, I'm praying you can see