Ups & Downs

I go so hard, why I'm so hard, this on myself, kid I don't talk a lot, still got a lot of shit I never said My ups and downs, this shit ain't even, still stay level-head I know they bleed just like I bleed, so I ain't never scared Get paid for tragedy, put my plaque all on my deathbed, yeah I love my block and I been gone, but I ain't never left, yeah Been holdin' grudges on my daddy 'cause he ain't never said sorry Put this metal on his melon, nigga ever say somethin' Say somethin', got a thing for red rum In my head so messed up, when I think Get in the car and pull out, that bitch lift up Heart been broke so many times like how the hell I still love? Yeah They could never take somethin' God gave me, got a heart Believe in me, I had it hard, don't go against me I be tryna act happy around my son, he feed off energy I be seein' the hurt inside my mama, shit be killin' me I been busy, Lord, just let my sisters know I got 'em Niggas with me, these more like my brothers, not my partners Yeah, I wish Dre could see me now It hurt me when they shot him dead Watchin' out for snakes inside my grass These niggas copperheads Ridin' in my cars, I know I'm legal But I ain't tryna go to jail, so I still watch for 12 Got Ash and Pluck, this shit forever, it got me outta jail Collect calls to my mama, sayin' I'll never tell Mama, you raised me well Mama raised me right, I did wrong on my own Got a house in every county But I can't call this place home it ain't my block 2200, it's on my eyes and this shit locked Ghost all on my gun, no serial number, but this a Glock, nigga Rel, I blame myself that I couldn't save you I'm still tryna figure out where they had chased you And that shit killed you, and that shit killed me I'm good, my kids love me, I don't care about who fear me They think where we come from, we ain't got hearts, we still cry If niggas tried this shit two years ago, we still slidin' This shit off my head, this real pain, I don't steal lines Still say to my mama sorry that I chose violence This shit won't stop, mama Catch him outside and gotta spin they block, mama But my neck water like the bottom of the dock, mama Know what go around come around just like a clock, mama That mean if I spin, I go again until they shot, mama I still make shit happen And I pray that God judge me off my heart, not my actions I go to sleep and I see demons Please don't wake me up, I'm fightin' 'em off, I'm still dreamin' Woah And I don't care to be the hardest I'm tusk tough just like a walrus And this on gang, we ain't the gang that you want war with Nothin' don't last forever, but while I'm here, I'ma enjoy it I'm lyin' I worked so hard for all this money to give 'em every dime Can't say you call me and I ain't pick up Nigga every time Say one more strike and then I'm out, shit I'm like Barry Bonds Shit, I got rich, prepared for war, I bought like every gun Tryna save my niggas, they so deep, shit They won't leave the slums I say I love you, then I mean it, I ain't tryna lead you on Before I ever do you wrong, baby, I'll leave you 'lone