The Sideboard Song (Got My Beer In the Sideboard Here)

Mother phoned up last night, she was going spare

She was in a temper, pulling out her hair

Your sister brought in this scruffy looking head

Father don't give a monkey's, this is what he said

I don't care, I don't care

I don't care if he comes 'round here

I got my beer and a sideboard here

Let mother sort it out

If he comes 'round here

I said to me mother, let me have a talk to dad

So he comes to the telephone, he wasn't half pissed

Says, she's got no sense the silly little cow

And if he comes 'round here, there's gonna be a row

I don't care, I don't care

I don't care if he comes 'round here

I got my beer and a sideboard here

Let mother sort it out

If he comes 'round here

I'll tell you something else and all

He's never got a job

He hangs around the betting shop

The lazy little yob

Mother says, calm down dad, he's alright

There out there snagging in the passage all night

I don't care, I don't care

I don't care if he comes 'round here

I got my beer and a sideboard here

Let mother sort it out

If he comes 'round here

If he comes 'round here

I got my beer

Let mother sort it out

And a sideboard here

Got my beer

Let mother sort it out

I don't care

If he comes 'round here

Biggy was a tramp with stubble on his chin

He looks like something that the cats brought in

Never got no money, smokes all my fags

Got holes in his soles and he's hanging in rags

On top of that he says I tell you why I got a hump

She had a skinny little belly, now it's sticking out the front

There's nothing seems to fit her, she's running out of clothes

If he thinks he takes a liberties, I'll punch him in the nose

I don't care, I don't care

I don't care if he comes 'round here

I got my beer and a sideboard here

Let mother sort it out

If he comes 'round here

If he comes 'round here

I got my beer

Let mother sort it out

And a sideboard here

Got my beer

Let mother sort it out

I don't care

If he comes 'round here

I don't care, I don't care

I don't care if he comes 'round here

I got my beer and a sideboard here

Let mother sort it out

If he comes 'round here

If he comes 'round here

I got my beer

Let mother sort it out

And a sideboard here

Got my beer

Let mother sort it out

I don't care

If he comes 'round here

I don't care, I don't care

I don't care if he comes 'round here

I got my beer and a sideboard here

Let mother sort it out

If he comes 'round here

If he comes 'round here

I got my beer

Let mother sort it out

And a sideboard here

Got my beer

Let mother sort it out

I don't care

If he comes 'round here

If he comes 'round here

I got my beer

Let mother sort it out

And a sideboard here

Got my beer

Let mother sort it out

I don't care

If he comes 'round here

I don't care, I don't care

I don't care if he comes 'round here

I got my beer and a sideboard here

Let mother sort it out

If he comes 'round here

If he comes 'round here

I got my beer

Let mother sort it out

And a sideboard here

Got my beer

Let mother sort it out

I don't care

If he comes 'round here

I don't care, I don't care

I don't care if he comes 'round here....