SUICIDAL THOUGHTS (NO ONE'S HOME)

Feel myself slipping and i hop in the whip,

Thinking a night drive will settle me and i'll get a grip,

I Put my foot down on the gas and now im starting to drift,

And i can feel my heart beating deep inside of my ribs

Going over all scenarios and all the what ifs,

I think that its about time i try to give em they wish,

Im thinking bout a way to end it so its painless and quick

And go from someone they know into somebody they'll miss,

I could hit a brick wall like all the ones that i built

Around myself or maybe swallow down a bottle of pills

But maybe not cuz i can't even learn to swallow the guilt,

Or tell my therapist the way i fucking actually feel,

Homie shits getting real, cuz im sick of the pain,

Got the drive inside of me from never catching a break,

Its an infection i can feel spreading out in my veins,

And the only to beat it is accepting my fate,

Oh, it's quiet in the evening

Dust on the ceiling

I wrote a note to all I've known

Was never the right time

I said my goodbyes

Knock on the door but no one's home

Im exhausted from circling inside of my head,

Im feeling nauseous struggling with catching my breath,

100 pound weight buried deep inside of my chest,

Im going round 8, waking up and covered in sweat,

With nothing left to give, and nothing left to lose,

Im thinking this is it, its time to make my move,

I rip out every stitch, open up all my wounds,

To feed the emptiness, I got a date with fumes,

Im Filling my garage with carbon monoxide,

While im on the phone with the suicide hot line

Telling em my life sucks im ready to swap sides,

And when im gone time will keep on moving clockwise

Nah I'ma end this with the way it started

The Hollywood way they can milk and market,

A knife from my back to my wrist and carve it

And finally give myself a red carpet. Damn.

Oh, it's quiet in the evening

Dust on the ceiling

I wrote a note to all I've known

Was never the right time

I said my goodbyes

Knock on the door but no one's home

*GASP*

Tap on the window I thought that the reaper was tucking me into my bed,

It was a cop and the way that he found me he thought he was pulling out somebody dead,

Calling me lucky and telling me somebody's coming to put me together again,

Suddenly something was changing im feeling like I can see life thru a different lens,

Now its all hitting me what was I thinking thought i didn't wanna survive,

Hard to believe a coincidence didn't just happen and all of this wasn't a sign,

But in that time is when i noticed that i felt alive,

I had to cheat death to realize i didn't wanna die,