Why Am I so Single? (Demo)

So, tell me, how does one end up on a date with their ex's colleague?

Okay, so I matched with this guy on Hinge

Ooh, sorry

One second

Didn't we decide to underscore this?

Oh my God, you're so right

Yeah, sorry

Okay, so I matched with this guy on Hinge

We start chatting and suddenly I'm like, "Oh shit, I recognise that company name

That is where The Ex works"

And this is 'The Ex'?

Yeah, 'The Ex'

So I'm like-

Ooh-

Ooh actually, I think we're going to save that for Verse 2

Keep 'em hungry, you know?

Would you mind babe?

So I'm like, "Ooh, do I really want to go for a drink with someone who shares a desk with the one that got away?"

And I'm like, "Yes, of course"

Yeah, like obviously

Yeah 'cause like, what could possibly go wrong?

Well?

So it's like any other date

So you're charming and you're great

Yes, I've hidden all my flaws, but strap in

Because it's going well, I'm thinking, "What the hell?

I'll ask about my ex, what's the worst thing that could happen?"

No, don't tell me, ahh

Yes, he's moving out to Paris with a girlfriend

What?

Which shocked me

So naturally I cried, my date was terrified

And said, "Hey, let's be friends"

But now I'm pretty sure he's blocked me

What sucks though, is I know

The Ex is out there practicing Français

Meanwhile I'm sat here in your flat

Back here with you listening to me say

Why am I so single?

Why am I so alone? I'm so ready to mingle

I don't get it

Why am I so single?

My bed's more barren than the backyard of Kris Kringle

Hahaha, I don't get it

Just forget it

And I think I'm a decent catch

But every time I find a match

No matter what I do

I end up sitting here sinking my troubles in a drink

In your flat still thinking

Why am I so single?

Okay, let's stop this moping and go out on the town

No, I'm too sad and alone

Come on, we'll paint it red, baby

Redder than your puffy eyes

Great, thanks for that

Ooh, I know, right on cue

Let's go away together again

On another writing retreat

Bash out the musical we've got to do

I'd love to, but I've got a very busy schedule of weeping to keep up with, so unfortunately I won't be able-

Oh my God, come on, shut up, it'll be so fun

Remember last time?

We got that little countryside Airbnb

I'd make you breakfast at the AGA

Oh, yeah

And on the night the rain poured, I sat with you and endured

All five feature films in the Twilight Saga

Jacob showed his torso more and more and more

So I quietly opened Grindr

But the app was an abyss, so while you stayed to watch them kiss

I went to bed and had my own happy ending, kinda

Wait, what?

Actually wow, hearing that now

Makes it sound like I'm some rejectee

But no, that's me

Yeah, 'cause

For that to be true

I would need to

Have had an actual boyfriend to dump me, ha ha ha

Why am I so single? (Why, why, why, why?)

Why am I so alone? I'm so ready to mingle (They're so ready)

I don't get it

Why am I so single? (Why, why, why, why?)

They say, "Go get 'em, tiger", but I'm no Bengal

Rawr, like the jungle cat

Thanks, we get it

Shall we duet it?

Sure

And I know I'm a fucking ten, but when I'm out there fu–

Dating men

No matter what I do

No matter what we do

I end up sitting here sinking my troubles in a drink

In my flat still thinking

Why am I so single?

So we poured ourselves another glass, chatted more

But don't worry, we didn't lose our composure at all

You're so nice

You're so nice

Both of us are just so very nice

And handsome

We are well-read

Good at giving advice

We're sexually healthy

And adequately wealthy

So what the fucking hell is going on? (What the fuck is going on?)

Why am I–

Why am I so single? (Why, why, why, why?)

I'm trying hard to score, but I'm stuck in goal

I don't get it

Why am I so single? (Why, why, why, why?)

The only thing I'm eating out is this tube of Pringles

He doesn't get it

Why am I so single? (Why, why, why, why?)

Anne's off getting laid, but I'm the other Boleyn girl

I never get it

Why am I so single? (Why?)

It's like they're singing

"Voulez-vous coucher avec moi"

But I'm not bilingual (Not bilingual)

Je ne comprend pas

Pourquoi je suis so single?

Oh

Yeah, maybe this is why actually

Yeah, probably, yeah

Why?