Always Tell the Voter What the Voter Wants to Hear

Always tell the voter what the voter wants to hear

“Welcome to Never Mind The Ballots. The phone lines are now open. If you'd like

To put a question to the candidates the number to ring is 0532779463”

You want jobs? I've got jobs!

Hospitals? Top of my list!

Tax cuts and platform shoes

For every small businessman

Just give me your vote

Just give me your vote

Schools, prisons? Of course we'll build them!

Condoms for the American GIs!

Nuclear reactors breed like rabbits

Police oppression? You can have it, sir!

Just give me your vote

Put your cross in the box

“Hello, we've got our first caller. Your name's Martin. Hello Martin. You disagree with our stated policy. Well, Martin, to tell you the truth, I couldn't agree with you more, I think it's outrageous, disgusting. But unlike my colleague on my right, we're the party who say what we do; do what we say. You can bank on us Mart!”

“Good evening, Shirley. I'm so glad that you've rung. The matter is as dear to me as it is to you. Give me four years and I'll get right down to it because unlike my little balding colleague on my left, we don't make promises we can't keep.”

“You still there, Martin? Just one more thing...”

“Give us your vote”

You want houses? See me afterwards

Want my autograph? See my bodyguard

Pre-election budget handouts

You want a war? No problem!

Just give me your vote!