if you only knew

I've been trying so hard to survive

Sometimes I think that I wanna die

I feel so fucking guilty 'cause God, I'm so lucky to live my life

So I keep all the pain to myself

Losing faith, but nobody can tell

Mom, I don't want you worried 'cause that would just hurt me

So I pretend I'm fine

If you only knew

What my mind is telling me I should do

That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight

I'm too sad to cry, it's true

Ooh, if you only knew

All the shit my brain is putting me through

You'd come running over straight to my room here tonight

I'm sorry, but I need you

Ooh, if you only knew

I wish I was somebody else

I'm constantly overwhelmed

Now I'm falling again, getting drunk with some friends

It's a silent cry for help

I wanna get better, I want you to know

That I can't do this on my own

If you only knew

What my mind is telling me I should do

That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight

I'm too sad to cry, it's true

Ooh, if you only knew

All the shit my brain is putting me through

You'd come running over straight to my room here tonight

I'm sorry, but I need you

Ooh, take me out of this hell

Oh, somebody help

Take me out of this hell

Oh, I'm not myself

I wanna tell you what my mind is telling me I should do

That I'm drunk and all alone in my room here tonight

I'm too sad to cry, but I want to

Oh, if you only knew