Ain't Who I Use to Be

Four o’clock in the morning, I still ain’t slept

Thoughts in my head I just blame myself

Gave my all I got nothing left, everything in my fucking life causes stress

Am I blessed or cursed? I can’t less the hurt

I try my best, but expect the worse

Behind every smile my depression lurks

And you wonder why the fuck I’m obsessed with work

I’m in grind mode, looking for a high road

Looking for the peace, but my ops want my eyes closed

45 tucked on my side for survival

223s in the mags of my rifles

You don’t know pain, you don’t know loss

You just see the fame you don’t know what it cost

When you give away love and ya get double crossed

Then ya understand the point that I’m trying to get across

Feeling so lost, lost in the game

Got tossed in the storm, I just walk in the rain

Anger built up so I talk profane

Been through hell now I can’t turn off the flame

He knows I’m stained, but loves me still

My crazy to him is a sex appeal

Guns in the house, he knows the deal

So numb I don’t know how to feel

<span begin="1:00.278" end="1:02.962">I ain’t who I used to be</span> <span ttm:role="x-bg"><span begin="1:02.207" end="1:05.189">(Thanks to all my enemies)</span></span>

<span begin="1:04.174" end="1:06.826">Burned in the first degree</span> <span ttm:role="x-bg"><span begin="1:06.025" end="1:08.330">(But it gave me clarity)</span></span>

Lord knows I’ve tried just to leave it alone

<span begin="1:15.259" end="1:18.125">I ain’t who I used to be</span> <span ttm:role="x-bg"><span begin="1:17.325" end="1:20.346">(Thanks to all my enemies)</span></span>

<span begin="1:19.274" end="1:21.981">Burned in the first degree</span> <span ttm:role="x-bg"><span begin="1:21.009" end="1:23.791">(But it gave me clarity)</span></span>

The only peace I find is at the end of the road

My loves like a light switch

On and off motha fuckas never know what they might get

Let shit ride 'til I throwout a spike strip

Fight with my vice, think I might need a vice grip

Tried be nice, got ran over

Broke my heart shit made me colder

Addicted to friends and I can’t get sober

Fake friends done made me a loner

I’m losing my composure, looking for the closure

One day you love me, the next day it’s over

Maybe I’m ugly, a little bi polar

Maybe my life gets over exposure

Tears of a joker, mind of soldier

Everything I trust comes with a holster

Karma's a bitch, off a cliff I drove her

I wish life came with a chauffeur

<span begin="2:00.658" end="2:03.437">I ain’t who I used to be</span> <span ttm:role="x-bg"><span begin="2:02.625" end="2:05.274">(Thanks to all my enemies)</span></span>

<span begin="2:04.586" end="2:07.471">Burned in the first degree</span> <span ttm:role="x-bg"><span begin="2:06.218" end="2:08.768">(But it gave me clarity)</span></span>

Lord knows I’ve tried just to leave it alone

<span begin="2:15.651" end="2:18.561">I ain’t who I used to be</span> <span ttm:role="x-bg"><span begin="2:17.750" end="2:20.482">(Thanks to all my enemies)</span></span>

<span begin="2:19.735" end="2:22.740">Burned in the first degree</span> <span ttm:role="x-bg"><span begin="2:21.550" end="2:24.281">(But it gave me clarity)</span></span>

The only peace I find is at the end of the road