Better Than Bacon

Now that's a fire

Listen, son

Knock you in your head with my stick, with my stick

You gon' have a mark from my stick, from my stick

My stick, my stick

My stick is better than bacon

You can't touch my stick, I don't wanna!

Yeah, you want my stick

Thunk your coconut with my stick, look at my stick (Mm-hmm)

You gon' feel the wrath of my stick, fear my stick!

My stick, my stick

My stick is better than bacon

You can't touch my stick, but it's just a stick!

It's my perfect stick

My stick is my friend born from a log

Everyone can see it's better than bacon

Why'd you get so crotchety and mean? Look at my stick

Why'd you drink that creature's milk? It's green! Got me sick!

My stick, my stick

My stick is better than bacon

You can't use my stick

But it's just a stick!

Don't you like my stick?

No, it's just a stick!

It's my perfect stick

My stick and me take walks every day

Past the hooligans down by the ocean

When they laugh at my stick, then they learn

How my stick is much denser than bacon

Bought a little piggy and I let the little piggy run amok

So cute

But when I would sleep, little piggy kept waking me up

Sold him

People often fight about which birds are the best birds

Do they?

But everybody can agree that seagulls are the worst

I kiss my stick, it's my stick

You can't pick up my stick, keep your mitts off my stick

I disappear for years, then reappear

Right here to cheer about my cool stick

When I was a little bitty kid, little bitty kid

I had not yet found my mighty stick, then I did (Mm-hmm)

I could break your stick using just my brain, my stick?

I could make you wish you couldn't feel pain, not my stick! (Mm-mmm)

My stick, my stick

My stick is better than bacon!

You can't touch my stick

I don't want your stick!

Yeah, you want my stick

I mean, it's just a stick!

It's my big boy stick

Bought a bag of venom and I wish I really, really, really didn't

It turns out

Nobody has a good reason to own a bag of venom

It's poison

Poke on my bruise sometimes 'cause I like how it hurts

It hurts good

Everybody can agree that seagulls are the worst

I kiss my stick, it's my stick

You can't pick up my stick, keep your mitts off my stick

Everyone can see it's better than bacon

I kiss my stick, it's my stick

You can't pick up my stick, keep your mitts off my stick

Everyone can see it's better than bacon