The Do Wop

LL Cool J

Servin' 'em well

And as you all know

I am hard as hell

Woke up at 9:30 on Saturday morn'

Hit my remote control turn my stereo on

Then I reach for a brush since I don't use a pick

And the floor was kinda cold so I put on my kicks

Walked to the kitchen and ate some Corn Flakes

As I bop to a tape of Cut Creator's breaks

Went hardcore, heavyweight, b-boy blast

Connoisseur of hardcore and Cut Creator's fast

Jumped in the shower, it was boiling hot

So I stayed there an hour 'cause I like it a lot

Jumped out, dried off, put on the Devon cologne

Then I called up Earl on the telephone

He told me 'bout a jam that I could do later on

Ten Gs plus a limo for one strong song

So I said yeah I was with it, hung up and got geared

Got a magnifying glass then I brushed my beard

Rewound some tapes of some Def Jam tunes

As I waited for this freak to ring the bell at noon

12 o'clock came, left the door cracked

The freak walked in, a mink on her back

Put her coat on the rack, threw my sex robe on

Then I threw in a tape of the quiet storm

We drank Round Hill Cabernet Sauvignon

She said, LL, when you're gonna let me taste your tongue?

My skin got pale, I wam-bammed the tail

Did it so hard I should've went to jail

She left, Earl came over and we went outside

Jumped in the BM to bust a joyride

Went up to AJ in my fresh black wheels

I'm not a sucker on the corner tryna scrape up a meal

The girlies want sex, the fellas try to plex

But those who flex end up with broke necks

Signed some autographs for a posse of freaks

Said it's, L, baby, I ain't down with chic

Conversated with the skeezers for ten minutes more

Then I jumped in my ride and the freaks slammed the door

Due 'cause I'm a gangster, people think I do crimes

They don't know I'm just a connoisseur of hip hop rhymes

Some smile, try to call LL a hoodlum at times

But he don't know my autograph's on his wife's behind

LL has iced all the washed-up slobs

Vigilante of rap so to Hell with the mob

Don't run from the cops makin' suckers jock

And I'm only 18, makin' more than your pops

Tormentor of toys and boy scout boys

And I dare any critic to call it noise

Peeped at the clock it said 6:03

Said later to Creator and broke out with E

Went up to White Castle for a chocolate shake

Thinkin' 'bout a hundred thousand that I'd soon make

Finished up the snack, jumped up out my seat

E love hit the table and he made up a beat

Kicked a few lines, stepped out the door

Said, tonight is a bore, I'm in the mood for more

We jumped in my ride, I took a peek at the time

It was almost 7:30 and the show was at 9

LL Cool J will soon stand at a jam

With thousand of people screamin', touch my hand

But since I had an hour plus a half attached

I was searchin' for the cutie who's my perfect match

Her name was Renee, her face was okay

But she had the kind of body that made J wanna play

I said, no need to rehearse, then I made my approach

Said, you got a good team, girl, but you need a new coach

Said, my name's LL Cool if I may introduce

But I'm not here for conversation, I'm here to seduce

Wanna mix it up, baby, wanna feel you grind

'Cause it ain't fifth grade and these ain't nursery rhymes

And I know that you adore my sure side hardcore

Check out the real LL behind closed doors

So tell your buddies you're busy, tell your boyfriend, beat it

Forget the silk dress 'cause you ain't gonna need it

Unplug your clock, do away with the light

After five minutes or more you hear me say, that's right

Your body is bad and I heard you got a Caddy

When we make love you can call me daddy

I'm LL Cool J, say hey, Renee

I'm not a toy boy but I still wanna play

Promise you I'm not wack when I'm in the sack

After that I leave you starving for me to come back

But in the meantime put your digits down

And the next time I see ya I'm goin' to town

Stepped away from the freak, it was a quarter to 9

When I rolled to the jam I saw the crew online

Took a trip around the side so I could get backstage

If you call me a tiger then the stage is my cage

I rip, stomp and crush, heavy metal bands rust

Them flaky knuckleheads I crumble up like crust

Walked in my dressing room and then I heard four knocks

They said, LL, you're runnin' late and it's time to rock

Told the Creator what the order would be

Then I said, Lord, have mercy and slapped hands with E

Went onstage, I heard the girlies scream

And that's the very moment I woke up from the dream, ah