The Night the Pugilist Learned How to Dance

In the streets around here, there was nobody tougher than me

I was quick with me fists, and fast with me footwork

As you can plainly see

But while fightin' was useful for gettin' your way

Among the toughs of the town where you could hold sway

There had to be something that was better than this

I was 15 years old and I'd never been kissed

Well, of course she'd ignore me, her friends would all sneer

At me bloody nose drippin' and me cauliflower ear

For it's hard to convince in a romanic pose

With and lovely black eye and a broken nose

Were a girl as attracted to skills more refined than the pugilist's art

And so I inclined to take meself serious as a modern romancer

And I secretly learned all the moves of a dancer

Ah, you swing to the left, you swing to the right

Keep your eyes on your partner, more or less like a fight

You just follow the rhythm and you keep to the beat

The important thing's never to look at your feet

Then a miracle happens, your mind's in a trance

Though the strategy's subtle, retreat and advance

It's all about attitude, all in your stance

Attention to detail, leavin' nothing to chance

Which explains how the pugilist finally learned how to dance

Well, I'd waltz with a broomstick and if I was caught

I'd pretend I was sweepin' or practicin' sport

But I really had eyes for your mother, you see

Wantin' her to acknowledge this new version of me

But now everyone's watching, expectin' I'll fail

But this fire in me belly is wind in me sails

I knew it was risky and I was takin' a chance

I couldn't retreat now, I had to advance

So I swing to the left, I swing to the right

Keep me eyes on me partner like I would in a fight

I just keep to the rhythm and follow the beat

The important thing's never to look at your feet

But a miracle's happened and your mind's in a trance

They're all laughin' at you and lookin' askance

On the night that the pugilist finally learned how to dance

It's a three minute round and you're back in your corner

You're lickin' your wounds just like little Jack Horner

Don't let your guard down, try a jab with your right

Or you're losin' on points by the end of the night

Then a miracle happens and everyone's screamin'

You're pinching yourself just in case you're still dreamin'

You've taken the initiative, you've taken your chance

It's the night when this pugilist finally learned how to dance

And about where the strategist's bridges were burnt

Where it seemed that his fortune had suddenly turnt

'Twas the night that the scrapper was suddenly dapper

And this poor fellow's heart was still gone like the clapper's

The night that the pugilist finally learned how to dance