How I Met My Ex

I met my girl when I was 18 years old

And she was just turning 23

I really love her from my heart

And even though I don't deserve it, fam, I hope she loves me

So I just done this private show, I'm doing Foot Locker promo

And judging from the post code it was Shore Ditch or Soho

Did six or seven tracks, made six or seven racks

A couple days later on Twitter I saw this photo of myself and I was grinning

That 4K camera of quality had got me tripping

So I'm checking out who did it

When I stumbled on this girl

And I could tell that she was different

A couple hours later now I'm liking all her pictures

I ain't finished

I typed her Twitter name into my Insta

So I could check on every single little digit

Why didn't I just message her?

Trust me, I was thinking

But I'm a self-centered rapper too concerned about my image

The truth

So when she hit me first, I'm pretty shocked I didn't burst

I'm calling Josh, Jack and Jess, who am I ringing first?

Man, I was so excited that I replied a minute later

That's that bro, I think that you just let her know excited

Too excited, no clue on what I should do excited

So I'm just typing, rambling like a fool excited

Look, look

And we were talking for hours over some minor things

Ignoring everyone else, to her I'm replying quick

This type of chick, she got a spark like you were lighting spliffs

You know you like her when you're thinking about your words

She got me typing, deleting my messages then re-writing

In the hope that there's a smile when she's replying

The highlight of my day, them phone calls in the night, it's the little things

The girl she had a vibe and I liked it and

She's into photography, she's got a passion for it

And she respects that I'm rapping but she ain't catting for it

See that's the perfect balance

There's nothing better than a girl with talent

Drive, ambition, all of them things above she showing in abundance

I ain't even met her yet

She works around the corner but lives just outside of London

I ain't fronting, I'm a sweet boy

Intentions are in question so my compliments are decoys

If that even makes sense

The first time I met her, I'm surrounded by my friends

Random ends on some staircase, so much for a first date

I just had a show and I asked if she could meet me after

Maybe we could chill, you never know where things could go

No problem, she down to roll

Traveled in the cold so I went across the road

Grey hoodie under a coat

If I'm remembering correctly

It's always kind of weird when the person that you were texting

Is a person you are obsessed with

I was on her from the jump

I think she was wearing pumps

Or Vans when I first met her, no it's either either one

She was looking so attractive, I barely saw skin

'Cause she was covered like a mattress

Man, I think that she's the one

I was stuck for twenty seconds trying to give the girl a hug

And all my friends are drunk so fuck it, I'm 'bout to kiss her

Any complications, I'm blaming it on the liquor

Changing my name on Twitter and blocking her on my Insta

I saw her skin blush the moment that our lips touched

She pulled my bottom lip until it stretched

Kissed me on my cheek until she reached around my neck

And had me moaning like a bitch

Even though I'm wearing jeans I had to rearrange my dick

So she don't see that I'm erect

It's the first time we met, got me feeling like a creep

And that strawberry flavor gave her tongue a kinda sweet little taste

And we could speak about anything, we were friends first

I dropped her to the station I remember

'Cause we had a conversation for ages about our dreams

And the things that we hadn't seen and all that we intended to do

I bet she's hoping my intentions are true

And as months went by we both got into it and intimate

And I'ma spare you the details 'cause both of our parents are probably listening

But really we were into it

Into us, into this, into everything about each other, we were lovers

And I love her 'cause she knows me

And that's probably why she told me you ain't ready for a girl

You're still a little kid that's getting ready for the world

And you don't need that kind of burden

But I told her that I want it

And I'm just being honest

Yes, I know that girls exist but I don't see them as a problem

I meant every single word

And I ain't gonna lie and say DMs have been absurd

But out of every single girl

This is the weirdest of positions

It's usually the girl that's asking where

I see her fitting or a place on her position

But I'm telling her I need it and I don't think she sees it

So I'm being even sweeter when we're speaking and we're meeting

I've got affectionate messages, you could read them

You gotta tell a girl that she's beautiful until she sees it

Believes it, understands it more than physically

Mentally and the way that I'm feeling

I could talk for ten years about the moments that we shared

The jokes that we had running, the places that we've been

The music we made together producing next to my bed

Then making my minor changes in reference to what she said

I think I started getting tired, my schedule's a mess

Replies are getting lazy and my lady knows it's crazy

But she's there if I'm in need

While I'm at shows getting tempted by girls that are on their knees

You know I'm only a teen

It's like my eyes started drifting

Not as easy as I pictured to give your all to a woman

Ignoring all this attention that's been getting to my head

The sex is so accessible

One message or text and girls will get in your bed

She's tryna make it happen with photos and her events

I mention it's her passion, photography is her thing

And I don't know if it's the pressure

Where paper meets the passion and the pleasure

We all gotta work to survive

So now she's popping up at shows

Taking pictures on her own

And at first it wasn't cool, but fuck it, we'll let it go

Until I saw her in some rapper's tracksuit, I felt a way

She told me it was work and she was in some studio

Taking pictures and I just sighed

Some halfway wannabe rappers that fed her lies

He ain't looking for no picture

I know it's your profession but read their intentions

They ain't paying male photographers to shoot that same session

And that felt so disrespectful, standing on our dreams

And crushing them

I just told her it's nothing, do what you need to do

If I ain't feeding you

Then my opinion's all I'm giving when I speak to you

'Cause I don't have the right

Why should girls be punished for a male's dirty mind?

When I think about it now, I'm ashamed to the core

I mean, how many men stop their women from achieving what they can

Because in secret they've been feeling insecure?

And I can't handle my emotions

It's probably why I didn't see her talent when I should've been supporting and promoting

Like I didn't have a platform, a voice and a following

With everyone I knew, I really could've done a lot of things to help chase her dream

But instead of me to grow into the person that she needs

I acted like I couldn't see

And I don't mean to say this like I don't trust the girl

But how can I trust her if I don't trust myself?

And even girls can get tempted you know how it goes

What if she meets a bigger rapper when she's at a show?

What if he sees her backstage, what if he selling lots?

What if he's got a bigger car, got a better watch?

That doesn't bother me, she really ain't material

It's all the little things they do that put the fear in you

What if he actually replies, what if he phones her too?

What if he's doing all the things that I'm supposed to do?

What if he's listening, laughing, relating?

What if he even cares to ask her how her day's been?

What if he's trying to give her everything she needs

And expects from the one damn person that she's dating?

I should've helped her follow her dream

But instead I held her back and had her following me

And boy's got a brave face so they'll never know

That it hurts just as much when you let them go