You Shouldn't Call the Doctor (If You Can't Afford the Bills)

Girls if your heart is feeling sore

Call the doctor and he'll fix it for sure

I'll be over right away but you might find you have to pay

For a private consultation and a guaranteed cure

When you're dying of a dreadful disease

You don't worry 'bout the medical fees

And it's too late to change your mind the doctors pulling down the blind

And your temperature is rising to a hundred degrees

I'll cuddle up beside you for a start

And listen to the beating of your heart

And then I'll take you gently by the hand

And ask you when the trouble first began

And then I'll look down deep into your eyes

And if your temperature continues to rise

There's only one way to make it stop

I'll have to prescribe the strongest medicine I've got

If this doesn't cure you it'll kill

But I know it's gonna give you a thrill

And now I've come across you can't complain about the cost

You shouldn't call the doctor if you can't afford the bills

I'll cuddle up beside you for a start

And listen to the beating of your heart

And then I'll take you gently by the hand

And ask you when the trouble first began

And then I'll look down deep into your eyes

And if your temperature continues to rise

There's only one way to make it stop

I'll have to prescribe the strongest medicine I've got

If this doesn't cure you it'll kill

But I know it's gonna give you a thrill

And now I've come across you can't complain about the cost

You shouldn't call the doctor if you can't afford the bills