Could You Use Me

Have some pity on an easterner,

Show a little sympathy

No one possibly could be sterner

Than you have been with me.

There's a job that Im applying for

Let me put it to you thus

There's a partnership Im dying for

Mr. and Mrs. Us

Before you file it on the shelf,

Let me tell you of myself

Oh I'm the chappy to make ya happy

I'll tie your shoesies, and chase your bluesies

Oh lady would you, oh lady could you use me

I'd shake the mat out and put the cat out

I'd clean the garret and feed the parrot

Oh lady would you, oh tell me could you use me?

Do you realize what a good man your getting in me?

I'm no elker mason or woodman who gets home at three

The girls that see me grow soft and dreamy

But I'm a gander that won't falander

Oh could you use me, cause I certainly could use you

There's a chap I know in mexico

Who's as strong as he can be

Eating nails and drinking texaco

He is the type for me

There is one in california

More romantic far than you

When he sings ha cha cha chornia

I often think he'll do

But as for you sir, I'm afraid

You will never make the grade

For you're no cowboy, you're soft, and how, boy

I feel no muscle that's fit for tussel

I must refuse you, I cannot use you

'scuse me

No night life for you

The birds would bore you

The cows won't know you,

A horse would throw you,

You silly man you

To ask me, can you use me?

Though at love you may be a wizard, I'm wanting to know

Could you warm me up in a blizzard

Say, forty below

Your ties are freakish

Your knees are weakish

Your not a zender, you elbow bender

Though you can use me

I most certainly can't use you