I work in a saloon
Pulling shit pints for shit wages
It's a busy night tonight
And the bar is full of all the girls I've ever shagged
Kissed, tampered with, or even just fancied
A pub full of conquests and knockbacks
In between the laughter I can hear my name
And then, through the gap between the swing doors and floor
I see your feet
You push open the doors and walk in
And as always all heads turn
And the room becomes silent
You stroll through the jealous gaze towards my bar
You get there, stop and ask, we have a nice little chat
You ask for a cocktail but I don't know how to make it
I look up the book, but I wasn't even listening
So you just shrug, and smile
And turn around and leave
And I pull another pint
Keep your clothes on, man
What?
Keep your clothes on
Think you're fuckin' John Major
