Ode to the Bouncer

Ooh, let me in or I'll get physical with you

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical to do

No, I haven't had no dope

Lift up the velvet rope

Mr. Doorman, stop teasing

I'm freezing out here

See, I've got friends inside

It's my birthday tonight

And I'm not wearing trainers

Not to mention knickers

It's futile to debate

With St. Peter at the gate

Made of protein milkshake

And low carb intake

'Cause all in all you're just

Another prick at the door

Ooh, let me in or I'll get physical with you

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical to do

Bouncer, hey bouncer

Bouncer, bounce bounce bouncer

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical

Bouncer, bouncer

Ooh, bouncer, empowered and aroused

I see it in your trousers

And in the way you browse her

(Look she's in!)

What?! Her dress is up to waterline

Bitch is clearly borderline

Nose as white as Snow White's, in moonlight

We stand in awe, in front of

Another prick at the door

Ooh, let me in or I'll get physical with you

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical to do

Bouncer, hey bouncer

Bouncer, bounce bounce bouncer

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical

Bouncer, bouncer

So you can play karate

You thick illiterati

I'm a black belt in life

So go home to your ugly wife!

You forgot, in your wisdom

The window to the ladies' room

A whole new possibility

For a cat like me

Ooh, let me in or I'll get physical with you

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical to do

Bouncer, hey bouncer

Bouncer, bounce bounce bouncer

I just gotta dance right now, it's critical