Even If It Kills Me

I've got a lot of things to do tonight I'm so sick of making lists Of things I'll never finish I've lived here for the last twelve years Since early 1995 All my shit has been in boxes But if I had a little more time to kill I'd settle every little stupid thing Yeah you'd think that I would But I'm too tired to go to sleep tonight And I'm too weak to follow dreams tonight For the first time in a long time I can say that I want to try To get better and overcome Each moment in my own way I wonder if I'll ever lose my mind I tried hard for awhile But then I kind of gave up Winter is killer when the sun goes down I'm really not as stubborn as I seem Said the knuckle to the concrete But I'm too tired to go to sleep tonight And I'm too weak to follow dreams tonight For the first time in a long time I can say that I want to try To get better and overcome Each moment in my own way I'm not saying that I'm giving up I'm just trying not to think As much as I used to Cause never is a lonely little messed up word Maybe I'll get it right some day For the first time in a long time I can say that I want to try I feel helpless for the most part But I'm learning to open my eyes And the sad truth of the matter is I'll never get over it but I'm gonna try To get better and overcome Each moment in my own way I sure want to get back on track And I'll do whatever it takes Even if it kills me