Poor Unfortunate Souls (From "The Little Mermaid Live!")

I admit that in the past, I've been a nasty

They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch

But you'll find that nowadays

I've mended all my ways

Repented, seen the light, and made a switch

Truth is

And I fortunately know a little magic

It's a talent that I always have possessed

And dear lady, please don't laugh

I use it on behalf of the miserable, lowly, and depressed

Pathetic

Poor unfortunate souls

In pain, in need

This one longing to be thinner, this one wants to get the girl

And do I help them? Yes, indeed

Those poor unfortunate souls

So sad, so true

They come flocking to my cauldron, crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"

And I help them! Yes, I do

Now, it's happened once or twice

Someone couldn't pay the price

And I'm afraid I had to rake them 'cross the coals

Yes, I've had the odd complaint

But on the whole, I've been a saint

To those poor unfortunate souls

Now here's the deal, if you dare

There's a potion I'll prepare

Just consume and you'll be human for three days up above

By the end of day three

Listen up, this is key

Just convince Mister Prince and get a kiss of true love

If I do?

Lucky you, you'll stay human through and through

You can go, wed your beau and be totally divine

And if not?

Then guess what, girl? You turn back into a mergirl

Same as you once were, girl, but that tail'll be mine

Don't be shy, dear

What will it be?

Want the guy, dear? Leave it to me

But what about my father, and my family?

Hmm, sorry, dear, there's no way to spin it

Life's full of tough choices, isn't it?

Once last thing, silly me

Did I mention there's a fee?

Nothing choice, just your voice

No more talking, singing, zip

Not a word?

Not a note, not a whisper from your throat

But-

Show some spine, you'll be fine

Honey, here's a little tip

You'll have your looks, your pretty face

And don't underestimate the importance of body language, ha-ha!

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber

They think a girl who gossips is a bore

Yet on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word

And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?

Come on, you poor unfortunate soul

Go ahead, make your choice

I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day

It won't cost much, just your voice

You poor unfortunate soul

It's sad, but true

If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet, you've got to pay the toll

Take a gulp and take a breath and go ahead and sign the scroll

Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys, the boss is on a roll

Those poor unfortunate souls

Beluga, sevruga, come winds of the Caspian Sea

Larengix glaucitis, ex max laryngitis, la voce to me

Now, sing

Ah, ah

Ah, ah

Keep singing

Ah, ah

Ah