The Eton Rifles

Suck up your beer and collect your flags

There's a row goin' on down near slough

Get out your mat and pray to the west

I'll get out mine and pray for myself

Thought you were smart when you took them on

But you didn't take a peep in their artillery room

All that rugby puts hairs on your chest

What chance have you got against a tie and a crest?

Hello hooray, what a nice day for the Eton rifles, Eton rifles

Hello hurray, I hope rain stops playin' with the Eton rifles, Eton rifles

Thought you were clever when you lit the fuse

Tore down the house of commons in you brand new shoes

Compose a revolutionary symphony

Then went to bed with a charmin' young thing

Hello hooray, cheers then mate, it's the Eton rifles, Eton rifles

Hello hooray, an extremist scrape with the Eton rifles, Eton rifles

What a catalyst you turned out to be

Loaded the guns then you run off home for your tea

Left me standin' like a guilty schoolboy

What a catalyst you turned out to be

Loaded the guns then you run off home for your tea

Left me standin' like a guilty schoolboy

We come out of it naturally the worst

Beaten and bloody and I was sick down my shirt

We were no match for their untamed wit

Though some of the lads said they'll be back next week

Hello hooray, there's a price to pay to the Eton rifles, Eton rifles

Hello hooray, I'd prefer the plague to the Eton rifles, Eton rifles

Hello hooray, there's a price to pay to the Eton rifles, Eton rifles

Hello hooray I'd prefer the plague to the Eton rifles, Eton rifles

Eton rifles, Eton rifles

Eton rifles, Eton rifles