The Best of All Possible Worlds

I was runnin' through the summer rain

Tryin' to catch the evenin' train

And kill that old familiar pain

Weavin' through my tangled brain

But when I tipped my bottle back

I smacked into a cop I didn't see

That police man said, "Mister Cool

If you ain't drunk, then you're a fool"

I said, "If that's against the law

Tell me why I never saw

A man locked in that jail of yours

Who wasn't just as low-down poor as me"

Well, that was when someone turn out the lights

And I wound up in jail to spend the night

And dream of all the wine and lonely girls

In this best of all possible worlds

Well, I woke up next mornin'

Feelin' like my head was gone

And like my thick old tongue

Was lickin' somethin' sick and wrong

And I told that man I'd sell my soul

For somethin' wet and cold as that old cell

That kindly jailer grinned at me

All eaten up with sympathy

Then poured hisself another beer

And came and whispered in my ear

"If booze was just a dime a bottle

Boy, you couldn't even buy the smell"

I said, "I knew there was somethin' I liked about this town

But it takes more than that to bring me down, down, down

'Cause there's still a lot of wine and lonely girls

In this best of all possible worlds"

Well, they finally came and told me they was a-gonna set me free

And I'd be leavin' town if I knew what was good for me

I said, "It's nice to learn that everybody's so concerned

About my health"

I said, "I won't be leavin' no more quicker than I can

'Cause I've enjoyed about as much of this as I can stand

And I don't need this town of yours

More than I never needed nothin' else

'Cause there's still a lot of drinks that I ain't drunk

And lots of pretty thoughts that i ain't thunk, oh yeah

Lord, there's still so many lonely girls

In this best of all possible worlds"